And There I Go With The F Bomb Again…

I AM

an asshole.  I’m constantly fighting with myself, and constantly losing.  That’s what makes me an asshole.  I let that fucking meanie head that doesn’t want to do anything win.

 

She’s a bitch, and she pisses me off, but I let her win because it’s easier than fighting harder and actually making myself do things.  Here in  my little world we procrastinate, and don’t give a shit about it.  I’m sick of it. 

 

I have a research paper due tomorrow, and I started it yesterday.  *sheepish grin* I admit that I work better under pressure, but COME ON!  That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?  The paper has to be at least 2500 words, or 5-10 PAGES.  You know what my effin topic is?  E-commerce and it’s effect on eBay.  For Fuck’s sake, what’s wrong with me?  All the other topics we had to chose from were just as engaging.  *rolls eyes*  Maybe I thought since there would be no eBay without e-commerce, it would be easy, right?  Well that’s the friggin problem, it’s too easy.  You state that there would be no eBay, and every says yeah, so what? And then you’re done. 

 

I’ve been pretty sick the past few days, thank you Joe, remind me to give you a frickin cookie next time I see you. 

I mean I knew it was fairly inevitable, he comes home from California and naturally we can’t keep our hands off each other and when he comes down with a cold, I just wait patiently for it to slap me in the face too.  It didn’t hit me nearly as hard as it hit him, and I’m grateful.  I was kind of hoping that since it took so long to get me, maybe I wasn’t going to get it at all… Yeah right, and I’m the merry queen of England. 

 

I’m pretty upset about NaNoWriMo.  I’m totally lost, especially since I’m trying to juggle the damn paper, my impending final exams that I will fail since I haven’t read a fucking word past chapter 2 in either of the books, and the fact that I have no money and barely work 15 hours a week.  My stress level is so high that my brain decided not to acknowledge anything that is going to stress me out on more than an observational level.  It’s like I’m outside of it all going Ha! you’re fucked.

 

Why is there a camera in my face?!

Okay, so I just got totally distracted by my african gray parrot Neo making really cute noises…. I’m glad I’m easily amused/distracted.  It’s kind of a sing-song

“doo doo doo, hoo hoo hooooo…”

 

 

I’m kinda bummed that I can’t play with Neo more, but I’m sick and I don’t know if this is something he can get from me or not.  He’s super cute and he absolutely adores me… Well, until I try to get him to do something he doesn’t want to do, then he is all temperamental and wants to bite.  But then I tell him not to give me his attitude and he lifts his wings above his head and flexes them three times.  It’s his little way of saying I’m tough, don’t mess with me!  I then proceed to shake my fist at him.  And he makes this little sound pushing air out of his beak like he’s offended.

 

Yeah, so my dad calls the propane company to make some change to how we’re billed, and he ends up talking to the lady for almost half an hour.  He’s just gabbing away like a lonely house wife or something.  It makes me feel kind of bad, but he kind of deserves it.  He’s been really mean to a lot of people for a really long time, and I think this is the world’s way of saying, you’ve been bad, now it’s time to have some quiet in the corner by yourself.  He talks my mom’s ear off when she gets home from work, and it pisses her off, because she spends all day answering phone calls.  She just wants to be left alone, and he just wants someone to talk to.  I’m here some days, but we have very brief conversations.  Even on long car rides our conversations don’t last for more than five minutes at a time, then we’ll be silent for a half hour or so.  *shrugs*

 

Okay, I’m going to go work on that research paper some more… At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.