On my way to work this morning, I was thinking about my blog and I was like, “when did I give a shit about politics?”
I’ve been pondering this over, and I have no idea what happened that suddenly made me decide I give a shit about these idiots and what they have to say. I’ve always tried to stay out of political debates, because someone always gets worked up and I think there is nothing to really get worked up over…
Or is there?!
Now I’m thinking I AM one of those people I was avoiding because I didn’t want to get them worked up.
My opinion can only go so far, because I’m not very educated about who is where in the government and what they are really doing for our country. I think politics are boring, but right now they are more scary than boring, and I think that is why I suddenly decided to “give a shit”.
- I’m scared about paying extra taxes I can’t afford.
- I’m scared that I am paying lots of money for social security when there won’t be any such thing by the time I am old enough to collect it.
- I’m scared shitless that I’m going to lose my medical coverage through Medicaid before I can find a job that offers health insurance. (which makes me sooooooo glad I made the choice of adoption, Donna and Tim have fabulous medical coverage through their jobs, which I don’t think they will ever have to worry about losing)
- I’m scared I’m never going to find a real job.
- I’m scared I’m never going to be able to buy a house.
With everything being on Pause in my life until this little man is born, I am even more scared. There isn’t enough money at the end of the bills, and I can only ask so much of my boyfriend before he owns me. I love him dearly, but I don’t want to be his financial slave for the rest of my life. He is not my husband, it is not his duty to take care of me. I feel like such an effin deadbeat.
At 22, I did not expect to be living at home, pregnant, and working part time 45 minutes away. In fact, I am fucking horrified. I looked back at the last four years of my life and went, WTF is wrong with me?! I am more intellegent than this!!! What did I do?!
I suck.
